happiness.

for the longest time ever, happiness has been such a foreign subject. despite the positive connotations it has, it rolls rather bitterly at the tip of my tongue.

what is happiness, really? is it the fleeting emotion felt when you finally get your hands on something that you’ve been eyeing? is it the warmth residing in your heart at the most random timing?

how tangible is happiness? and if it isn’t tangible, why?

happiness is subjective for sure. the things that make me happy could also be the same things that you dread most. how do you then attain eternal happiness if you’ve only tasted it in bits and pieces?

recently, i stumbled upon a theory called “hedonic treadmill”. in short, let’s use my unhealthy obsession for crystals as an example;

aqi loves crystals. aqi buys them. the chain reaction that aqi gets is momentary happiness because aqi bought something that she is obsessed with.

but since it was so brief, aqi will return to her usual state of emotion (e.g. stillness). later, a few days down the road, or perhaps a week ahead, aqi will repeat this cycle over and over just to have that one short moment of happiness again.

so again, what is happiness and how can you be happy forever? must you experience these short moments which will then accumulate throughout your living years? or is there possibly any secret formula that one can use to be happy?